Let’s Talk About Mum Guilt

"Mum guilt" — if you're a mother, chances are those two words immediately strike a chord.

It shows up in quiet moments and loud ones. It whispers that you're not doing enough. It questions your choices, your boundaries, your instincts. Whether you’re navigating the early fog of newborn life, returning to work, choosing screen time so you can shower in peace, or simply trying to make it through the day — mum guilt can be a heavy and constant presence.

At Nurture Geelong, we want you to know: you're not alone in this feeling, and more importantly, you are not failing.

Where Does Mum Guilt Come From?

Mum guilt doesn’t come from nowhere. It’s shaped by a mix of internal expectations and external pressures:

• Social media showing picture-perfect moments of other mothers (but not the chaos behind the scenes)

• Cultural narratives that idealise selfless, always-available motherhood

• Family or societal expectations about what being a “good mum” should look like

• Personal values that can conflict with the reality of parenting (like wanting to be endlessly patient... when you're running on two hours of sleep)

Often, guilt shows up not because you’re doing something wrong — but because you care so deeply.

The Problem with Guilt as a Default Setting

A little guilt can be a helpful signal. It might point us toward a value we care about — like wanting to be present with our child or to parent gently.

But when guilt becomes chronic or disproportionate, it doesn’t motivate change. It drains energy. It chips away at confidence. And it can fuel anxiety, burnout, and even postnatal depression.

Guilt says: I’m not enough.
Compassion says: I’m doing the best I can, and that’s enough for today.

What Might Help

If mum guilt is a familiar weight on your shoulders, here are some gentle ways to ease it:

1. Notice the “shoulds”
Pay attention to the invisible rules you’re holding yourself to. Are they realistic? Kind? Based in truth — or comparison?

2. Reframe your thinking
Instead of “I’m a bad mum for needing space,” try: “I’m a human being with needs, and taking space helps me be more present.”

3. Validate your effort
Parenting is hard. What you’re doing matters, even if it doesn’t always feel “perfect.”

4. Surround yourself with support
Guilt thrives in isolation. Talking to other parents or a therapist can offer a more compassionate mirror.

5. Remind yourself: good enough is good enough
Children don’t need perfect mothers. They need real ones — ones who are responsive, present, and doing their best.

We're Here for You

At Nurture Geelong, we see and support mums in all their complexity — the love, the exhaustion, the doubt, the strength. Whether you're navigating early motherhood, perinatal anxiety, postnatal depression, or simply need a safe space to unpack the emotional load — our team is here to help.

You deserve support without judgment. You deserve to feel empowered, not guilty, in your parenting journey.

Let go of guilt. Hold onto compassion. You're doing better than you think.

If you're feeling overwhelmed, or just need someone to talk to, reach out to us at admin@nurturegeelong.com or explore our services