Returning to Work After Baby — What No One Talks About
The return to work after having a baby is often framed as a practical transition — organising childcare, planning feeds, adjusting schedules.
But what’s rarely spoken about are the emotional layers beneath it.
At Nurture Geelong, we regularly support families navigating this season in Geelong — and the truth is, returning to work after baby is not just a logistical shift. It’s an identity shift.
Here’s what no one talks about.
1. The Guilt Can Be Loud (Even If You Want to Work)
You can love your baby deeply.
You can feel grateful for your job.
You can want adult conversation and purpose outside the home.
And still feel guilt.
Guilt doesn’t necessarily mean you’re making the wrong decision. Often, it simply means you care.
Many parents tell us:
“I feel selfish.”
“I should be home longer.”
“I’m missing moments I’ll never get back.”
But here’s the quiet truth: children benefit from having caregivers who feel fulfilled and supported. A working parent is not a lesser parent.
2. No One Prepares You for the Identity Whiplash
Before baby, work may have been a huge part of who you were.
During leave, caregiving likely became your full-time identity.
Returning to work can feel like stepping into a version of yourself that no longer quite fits.
You may notice:
Your priorities have shifted.
Your tolerance for workplace stress is lower.
You care less about things that once felt urgent.
You feel more protective of your time.
This isn’t a weakness. It’s growth.
Matrescence — the developmental transition into motherhood — changes us neurologically and emotionally. It’s normal if you don’t feel like the “old you.”
3. The Emotional Load Doesn’t Disappear
Even when you return to work, the mental load of parenting remains.
You may find yourself:
Thinking about nap times during meetings.
Checking your phone more often.
Coordinating childcare logistics constantly.
Carrying the invisible planning load at home.
The cognitive juggling can be exhausting.
This is why realistic expectations — at work and at home — are essential.
4. Drop-Off Can Be Harder on You Than on Them
The first childcare drop-off can feel heartbreaking.
Tears (theirs or yours) can trigger doubt:
“Have I damaged our attachment?”
“Are they going to feel abandoned?”
Secure attachment isn’t built on never separating. It’s built on consistent, loving reconnection.
When you return at pick-up with warmth and responsiveness, you reinforce safety. Children can hold both — loving separation and joyful reunion.
5. Your Relationship May Shift
Returning to work often changes household dynamics.
You might notice:
Resentment if responsibilities feel uneven.
Tension around who does what.
Different expectations about career progression.
Fatigue impacting communication.
This stage requires open conversations, flexibility, and often renegotiation of roles.
It’s not a failure if it feels messy. It’s an adjustment period.
6. You Might Grieve — Even If It’s the “Right” Choice
Sometimes parents feel sadness returning to work and then feel guilty for feeling sad because:
“Other parents don’t get this much leave.”
“I should feel lucky.”
“This was always the plan.”
Grief can exist alongside gratitude.
You are allowed to mourn the end of a chapter while stepping into a new one.
7. You Deserve Support in This Transition
Returning to work after baby is a major life adjustment — emotionally, practically, and relationally.
Support might look like:
Parent counselling
Flexible transition plans
Open communication with your child’s educators
Reducing non-essential commitments temporarily
Building realistic routines (not perfect ones)
At Nurture Geelong, we believe transitions are where families need the most care — not just children, but parents too.