The Pressure to “Enjoy Every Moment” - Geelong Therapy
“Enjoy every moment — it goes so fast.”
It’s usually said with warmth. With good intention. Often from someone who remembers early parenthood through a softened lens of hindsight.
But when you’re in the thick of it — sleep deprived, overstimulated, touched-out, emotionally stretched — those words can land heavily.
At Nurture Geelong, supporting parents across Geelong, we often hear the quiet guilt that follows:
“Why am I not enjoying this more?”
“What’s wrong with me?”
“Everyone else seems so grateful.”
Let’s gently unpack the pressure to “enjoy every moment.”
Two Things Can Be True
You can love your baby deeply.
And not enjoy every stage.
You can feel grateful.
And overwhelmed.
You can know it “goes fast.”
And still wish bedtime would hurry up.
Parenthood is not a single emotion. It is layered, complex, and constantly shifting.
The problem isn’t that you’re not enjoying every moment.
The problem is the expectation that you should.
The Reality of Early Parenthood
The early months (and years) can include:
Chronic sleep deprivation
Hormonal changes
Identity shifts
Physical recovery from birth
Feeding challenges
Relationship adjustments
Financial pressure
Isolation
Very few humans thrive under all of those conditions at once.
When we tell parents to savour every second, we unintentionally erase how demanding this season can be.
Memory Softens the Edges
Often, the people encouraging you to “soak it all in” are remembering their own experience through nostalgia.
Our brains are wired to soften distress over time. We remember baby cuddles and forget the 3am pacing. We remember chubby thighs and forget the colic.
You are living it in real time — not remembering it.
Of course it feels different.
The Comparison Trap
Social media intensifies the pressure.
Beautiful nurseries. Calm morning routines. Smiling babies in coordinated outfits.
What you don’t see:
The tears before the photo
The argument about who got less sleep
The anxiety behind the smile
When you compare your internal experience to someone else’s curated highlight reel, you will always feel like you’re falling short.
Enjoyment Is Not Constant — It’s Fleeting
Instead of “enjoy every moment,” a more realistic expectation might be:
Notice some moments.
A sleepy cuddle.
A spontaneous giggle.
The weight of them resting on your chest.
These are moments — not entire days.
You are allowed to dislike:
The newborn witching hour
Toddler tantrums
The mental load
The constant interruptions
Enjoyment doesn’t have to be continuous to be meaningful.
When the Pressure Becomes Shame
For some parents, the pressure to enjoy every moment can mask deeper struggles, such as:
Postnatal depression
Perinatal anxiety
Birth trauma
Feeling disconnected or numb
Grief for your old life
If you find yourself feeling persistently flat, irritable, resentful, or detached, it’s important to know this is common — and treatable.
Struggling does not make you ungrateful.
It may mean you’re unsupported.
A Kinder Reframe
Instead of asking:
“Why am I not enjoying this more?”
You might try:
“What would make this season feel more sustainable?”
Maybe it’s:
More sleep
Shared responsibilities
Time alone
Therapy
Honest conversations
Reduced expectations
Parenthood was never meant to be done in isolation.
You Don’t Have to Perform Gratitude
You are allowed to:
Find it hard
Miss your old life
Count down to bedtime
Feel bored sometimes
Feel overstimulated
Need space
None of this cancels out your love.
At Nurture Geelong, we support parents throughout the perinatal period in Geelong who feel the weight of impossible expectations.
You don’t need to enjoy every moment to be a good parent.
You just need to show up — imperfectly, honestly, and with enough support around you.
And if you’re finding this season harder than you expected, you don’t have to navigate that alone.