The Space Between Us: How Postpartum Affects the Couple Relationship - Geelong Therapy
When a baby is born, so is a family. But in the quiet (and often chaotic) moments after birth, many couples are surprised to find that their relationship feels different — stretched, distant, or even fragile.
You might wonder:
“Why does it feel like we’re drifting?”
“Why are we arguing more?”
“Why does everything feel so tense, even though we’re both trying?”
At Nurture Geelong, we work with couples who love each other deeply — and still find themselves struggling to connect in the early months and years of parenthood. If that’s you, you’re not failing. You’re in the midst of a normal and significant transition.
When Baby Arrives, Everything Changes — Including “Us”
The arrival of a baby brings massive shifts on every level — physically, emotionally, mentally, and practically. While you're learning to care for a newborn, you're also navigating:
Sleep deprivation that frays patience and increases tension
Hormonal changes that can cause emotional highs and lows
Identity shifts (especially in the birthing parent) that can change how you relate to each other
New roles and expectations that aren't always clearly communicated
Less time, space, and intimacy — emotionally and physically
What once felt easy might now feel hard. Conversations might turn into misunderstandings. Closeness might feel out of reach.
This doesn’t mean your relationship is broken — it means you're human.
Common Challenges Couples Face Postpartum
You’re not alone if you and your partner have experienced:
💔 Feeling emotionally disconnected
One partner may feel consumed by the baby, while the other feels pushed aside or unsure how to help.
💔 Differences in parenting styles
What seemed aligned during pregnancy may start to diverge in practice, especially under stress.
💔 Changes in sexual intimacy
Fatigue, physical recovery, body image changes, and emotional overwhelm can affect desire and connection.
💔 Unspoken resentment
If one partner feels unsupported — or if invisible labour isn't recognised — resentment can quietly build.
💔 Communication breakdowns
In the fog of sleep deprivation and stress, it’s easy for small things to become big things.
It's Not Just You — And It's Not Hopeless
Studies show that relationship satisfaction tends to decline in the first year postpartum. But understanding that this is common — and often temporary — can help you take steps to protect and rebuild your connection.
Ways to Support Your Relationship in the Postpartum Period
💬 Prioritise open, honest conversations
Talk about how you're feeling — not just what needs to get done. Use “I” statements and try to stay curious rather than critical.
🧡 Acknowledge each other's efforts
A simple “thank you” or “I see how hard you're trying” can go a long way, especially when emotions are tender.
📆 Make space for connection — however small
Even a 10-minute walk together, eye contact over a cup of tea, or a quick cuddle on the couch can start to rebuild intimacy.
🧘♀️ Support individual wellbeing
The stronger each of you feels individually, the more capacity you’ll have to show up for each other.
👩⚕️ Seek support early
Relationship counselling, parenting education, or joining a parent group can offer practical tools and reassurance.
How Nurture Geelong Can Help
We know how disorienting this time can be. That’s why we offer support not just for mothers — but for the couple relationship too.
At Nurture Geelong, you can access:
✨ Couples counselling tailored to the postpartum stage
✨ Parenthood preparation & transition sessions (for expectant and new parents)
Remember: You're Both Learning
Nobody enters parenthood with all the answers. The postpartum period is a time of enormous learning — not just about your baby, but about each other in a new context.
It’s okay if it feels hard. It’s okay if you’re both still figuring it out.
You are not alone, and support is available — right here in your community.
With care,
The Nurture Geelong Team